Dark Duck 09: What is at Stake
by VAPX007
Summary: Part 3 of 3 -  "Alright, who are you and what have you done with my dad?" Darkwing Duck spun around from readying the rat-catcher. He raised an eyebrow at his daughter. "I take it you don't like my outfit."
1. What is at Stake

_**Disclaimer: **All characters remain the intellectual property of those who created them. _

_**Attention: **This revivication of a long dead cartoon series is purely a self indulgent act of the *cough* author *cough*. _

_**I Regret Nothing: **Thanks to me, the next time someone axes Darkwing Duck, they won't be so successful. Or lucky. Mwahahaahaha!_

_**Warning: **For those of you who came in late: If you don't like vampires or violent algorithms inextricably interwoven into plot matrices, don't read on._

* * *

**Chapter 14: What is at Stake**

* * *

_Fourteen hours earlier, two days and around about two hours later ... oh, whatever. Back at Darkwing Tower..._

Launchpad looked up at the bleeping, and put down his breakfast spoon. "DW's videophone."

He ran across the tower, climbed up the ladder and looked madly around for the right switch to take the call. He calmed down and shrugged. He covered his eyes with his fingers.  
"Eenie, meenie ..." He stabbed a random button and got a surveillance camera. He looked around again, and hit another random button. The massive blown up head of S.H.U.S.H. command's director J Gander Hooter appeared in front of his eyes. Launchpad jumped back in fright.

"I'm sorry, chief, Darkwing Duck is not here." Launchpad sat in DW's chair, still shaking from the shock.  
"Well, when he gets back in, could he ..."  
"He's not coming back in ..." Launchpad was apologetic "he's on vacation."  
"Well, yes, that's what the press cover was saying. I understand the ploy, but as a matter of fact ..."  
"It's not a bluff, chief. Darkwing Duck is not in St Canard. He left shortly after that happened."  
"He's not here at all, well, where is he?"  
"Uh ... Overseas." Hooter sat back in his chair. "I haven't seen him since seven that evening."  
"That was before ... er ... you can contact him, can't you?"  
"Only if there's a disaster happening. Those were the instructions."  
"Well, you can tell him this is a disaster. We need him back as soon as possible."

* * *

"Sure, okay, chief, I'll get right onto it." Launchpad turned off the screen and pulled out his mobile phone.

There was no answer. He put the phone down and stared at it. Was DW alright? Where was he? Australia could mean anything from duck eating crocodiles to ... Launchpad shuddered ... vegemite. Vegemite made Morgana's monster cuisine easy.

The phone rang.  
"You alright, DW?"  
_"Oh, we're great, LP!"_ DW replied. _"Sorry I didn't answer, we were on the slopes."_  
"Skiing?"  
_"Yes ... are you alright, LP? You sound terrible." _

Launchpad got a hold of himself. "I'm alright, you haven't tried the vegemite yet?"  
_"No, but I asked about it."_  
"Don't try it."  
_"Gos didn't mind it with cheese in a pastry scroll... Launchpad's asking about the vegemite you tried yesterday ... There you are, LP, Gosalyn say's it's good for you."_  
"What do you think, DW?"

_"I think you were calling for something more important than to discuss a meat substitute invented during The Great Depression."_  
"Uh ... yeah. Director Hooter needs you back."  
_"Did he say why?"_  
"He said it was a disaster."  
_"Well, I'll believe him ... we'll come back again another time, Gos, don't worry. LP, give us an hour to get sorted out and we'll be over there."_  
"Well, disaster it may be, DW, but I told Hooter you were overseas, so don't hurry too much."  
_"Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks for the warning, LP. We'll be around in a bit."_

Launchpad pressed end on the phone. He considered the different experience DW had. Maybe if he just avoided the vegemite satchels at the breakfast table he'd have a better time.

* * *

_One and a half hours later, in St Canard..._

Darkwing Duck and Launchpad McQuack stood to attention in S.H.U.S.H. headquarters.

"Darkwing, I have some troubling news. And you might not believe it." Darkwing did a double take of Hooter's nearly passive expression. Darkwing could get next to nothing out of the director's delta waves.  
"Well, whatever it is, if you believe it's serious, that's good enough for me."  
"Very well." Hooter continued in his monotone voice. "I requested that you return, because it appears there is a vampire loose in St Canard." Darkwing choked, his eyes watering.  
"... Are you saying this vampire is also a criminal?"  
"Yeah, or is it just that they've got a rather peculiar appetite? Because ..."  
"Thank you, Launchpad." Darkwing clenched his beak.

"Oh, yes, we believe he is working for F.O.W.L."  
"This is even more serious." Darkwing took a breath, his mind reeling.  
"We don't have much to go on other than ..."  
"Do you have a name? What about a photograph? Or approximate height, build, you mean nobody saw him? Well, how about a piece of fabric, family heir loom? Stray feather, blood sample? A partial thumbprint even? Didn't the saliva swab even work out?"

"Darkwing, calm down ..."

"Once F.O.W.L. has one vampire, it's just a matter of time before we're fighting an army of vampires. And all of them will be unscrupulous F.O.W.L. operatives. We don't have time to waste!"  
"Well, we have no evidence that there's more than one at the moment. But we don't have a name as yet ... or indeed anything else that you requested." Darkwing crossed his arms.  
Hooter had to have something, though. "What have you got?"

"This is all, unfortunately." Hooter handed him a manila folder case file and Darkwing quickly flipped through the collection of murder scene pictures. "I understand this is an unusually dangerous assignment, and so that's why I think agent Grizlykoff ..."  
"We'll be right, chief." Darkwing snapped on the end of Hooter's sentence, the sense of urgency was too overwhelming for pointless argument. "Come on, Launchpad." Darkwing jabbed the folder into his breast pocket. "Let's go stop this savage butcher." He raced out of the room without looking back.

Darkwing and Launchpad hurried down the corridors. "F.O.W.L. must have succeeded in their experiments with vampires and turned one of their operatives. That could be very dangerous, considering the potential for passing on the venom amongst their inscrutable numbers."  
"If you bit someone, they'd turn into a vampire?" Darkwing opened the entrance door and Launchpad stepped through.

Darkwing followed, the door swung shut behind. "Only on purpose. And the problem with bad guys is they don't care, they just want power." They headed to the rat catcher.  
"Yeah, and this time, this one also wants blood."

"We still have a tactical advantage, Launchpad."  
"What's that, DW?"  
"The same one I've always used. I'm the master of psychological warfare." Darkwing ditched his grey Fedora hat in the sidecar compartment.  
"Gee, DW. You think you can really scare a vampire?" Darkwing flashed him a smile and was about to reply, when Hooter who'd tailed them interrupted.  
"Er, Darkwing?"  
"Chief?" Darkwing grabbed his helmet.  
"Forgive me for asking, but I am a little concerned, do you have ... any practical experience with ... er ... these sorts of things?"  
"Don't worry, sir. A criminal is a criminal." Darkwing rammed the helmet on his head. "Let's go Launchpad." He jumped up onto the seat and revved the engine into life as Launchpad got into the sidecar. He drove off.

"Er, DW, I think he was talking about whether or not you had experience in catching vampires."  
"Launchpad, a little faith, please? Since I am a vampire, I can use my personal experience to an advantage." He fell silent at the red light signal.  
"We're stopping by Hamil Corp, aren't we?"  
"A ... little detour couldn't hurt. Besides, Eider might already be onto this guy."

Darkwing drove up into the Hamil Corp underground parking level. "You stay here, Launchpad, this'll be quicker if I go in alone."  
"Sure ..." Launchpad watched him blink into nothing as if he'd just turned off the TV. "I appreciate that." He breathed a sigh of relief. One vampire was plenty enough for his nerves.

* * *

"Well, I don't know anything, but I don't like him either." Eider said with a stifled yawn, reviewing the content of the manila folder in contempt. Apparently looking at gruesome photos was something that his nerves were used to. "He's giving the rest of us a neon billboard advertisement for open season. If he isn't stopped, we'll all have our heads on the chopping block. Guys like that make people like Ducker appear to be sane benefactors of society." Eider handed him back the folder. "Anytime you need backup, just give us a call."

"What about Ducker?" Darkwing reviewed Eider's delta waves. Something was up.  
"Oh, well, you know how the master said he was probably leaving Australia on the next plane?" He turned away from Darkwing. Eider had caught Ducker?  
"Good job!" Darkwing was thrilled at this news, knowing Ducker wasn't going to come interrupting him. He could face off Steelbeak and the nightmare he'd unleashed on Darkwing's beloved city without this threat.  
Eider turned back to him. "Of course." Eider puffed up proudly. "I spent years on the St Canard police force."

Then he yawned. "Now, if you'll excuse me, you woke me up. I dunno what kind of hours you keep, but I need a coffee before I fall down." Darkwing shook his head.  
"I've gone off that stuff. I'm surprised you can drink it."  
"Hey, don't knock it. Not at this hour of the day."  
"Lunchtime?" Darkwing raised an eyebrow at the receding Eider. Normally it was true for him as well, but not with this case on his mind.  
He translocated back to Launchpad and the rat-catcher. "Come on, Launchpad. Let's get dangerous."

* * *

Darkwing drove a distance, and parked in a shopping car park. He looked around at all the people, eyeing them as they passed. "I'm ... sorry to ask you to do something so trivial." He watched another set of people watching back. "Could you get a couple of things for me?" He reached into the sidecar compartment and wrote out the short list. "We don't have much time, LP." He handed him fifteen dollars. Launchpad read the list.  
"Bleach and food dye? No problem-o, DW."  
"Make it a large bottle of bleach." He called out as LP disappeared. "Oh, this is going to be tricky." Another set of people walked past, back to their car.

He looked to the other side, as someone actually came up to him. "Nice ride." The youth ogled the rat-catcher. That's what they were staring at?  
"Sure, you should see the one my friend drives."  
"No, really?" Darkwing nodded.  
"It really ... flies."  
"Awesome."  
"What's your name?" It was Ian, but Darkwing really felt it polite to ask. The boy started him into a long conversation on motorcycles. The boy was shockingly intelligent on the subject.

Darkwing looked up at the mall entrance as Launchpad came through the sliding doors. "Oh, my friend's back, we've got to go. It was good talking with you, Ian." The boy bobbed his head.  
"Later, dude." The boy wandered back to a parked car. As Launchpad got into the sidecar, Darkwing listened to a young girl calling Ian's name.  
"Who was that you were talking to, Ian?"  
"I don't know. Somebody?" It felt like a sharp knife in Darkwing's chest as he started up the engine. And people wondered why he had a three line introduction!

* * *

_Moral/Overview: The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping. - L. Edmondson_


	2. Harlequin

_A/N: Let's get Dangerous!_

**Chapter 15: Harlequin**

The blazing glory of the sunset hit the top level of Darkwing Tower with full intensity.

"Alright, who are you and what have you done with my dad?" Darkwing Duck spun around from readying the rat-catcher. He raised an eyebrow at his daughter.

"I take it you don't like my outfit." He'd traded the grey and black colour scheme for a temporary red and yellow version. This feat had required a copious amount of bleach and red and yellow dyes. It would wear out the instant he used his vampire abilities, but it was very bright and colourful at the moment. He swirled the yellow cape around. He felt airy and light.

"You look like Quackerjack." Darkwing laughed, feeling high spirited. He spun around, did a few cartwheels, sprang a couple of handstands in a row then began juggling gas grenades. He put them down, and grew serious.  
"For sure, the one best way to attract a vampire's attention is to ..."  
"Attract attention?"  
"Bright clothes make a loud noise for a vampire, they hear colour, more than they see it."  
"That explains why you have no problems at the stop lights."  
"And why I can't play Whiffleboy very well anymore; I'm doing it all by ear."

Gosalyn considered, "But I thought you were going to get him, not the other way around?"  
"Oh, I'll get him." He said darkly, "But I need to be able to find him first, and this will certainly help me if he sees me."  
"Sure. You'll stick out ... like a bright red and yellow umbrella in a cocktail glass!" She reached up and hugged him. "I love you, dad. Don't do anything stupid, okay?"

"Sweetie." He sighed as he picked her up into his arms. "You've been very worried about me lately."  
"I've seen plenty of vampire movies, dad. It isn't often that the vampire is still alive at the end of it." He put her down, and grabbed his hat from the rat-catcher. His hat was a matching yellow for his cape.

He spun around and faced her. He wrapped his cape around himself, and pulled back, raising the edges of the cape with his hands in his usual dramatic pose. "My dear, I'm not just any vampire, I am Darkwing Duck ... And you can stop laughing at me, young lady!" Gosalyn was doing her best to stifle her laughter.  
"That's ... uh, not your best colour, dad." He smiled back. The humour in her mind was catching.  
"Yeah, I do look pretty ridiculous, don't I? I can't take myself seriously either, I have to admit it." He laughed with her.

_One minute to ten o'clock that evening..._

Night time on the streets, the air was still. The tranquility was broken by a woman's shriek.

The woman screamed as she ran, tripped on her high heels, and landed heavily on the hard concrete pavement, twisting her ankle. The light went out overhead. Bloodshot eyes and a black silhouette stooped down over her.

From somewhere else, a voice echoed through the darkness. "I am the terror that flaps in the night!"

"What?" The assailant was momentarily distracted and straightened from his intended victim, she scrambled away from him, but he quickly turned back. "Oh, no you don't!" He made to grab for her ankle. She shrieked and kicked at him with her good foot. She saw some blur of coloured movement slam into him, sending her attacker flying.

A friendly voice came from behind her. "Come on; let's get you to a hospital." The duck dressed in a pilot's outfit helped her up and walked her to a phone booth round the corner.

_Two past ten..._

"Round one to us."  
Launchpad came back to the rat catcher to find Darkwing Duck sitting in triumphant red and yellow in the driver's seat. "But you didn't catch him?"  
"I've got to get his attention first, LP." Darkwing fired up the engine and took off down the street. "Now I've got a lock on him. I've also got a name. Quandry. And guess where he's off to next?"

_Three past ten..._

"That was quick." Steelbeak reviewed Quandry. "Don't you usually play with your food first?"  
"Darkwing Duck." Quandry snarled, "I didn't get even a bite, not even a mouthful." Steelbeak blanched in anger.  
"Now, I've told you before about coming back here while you're still hungry!"

"Darkwing Duck is out there. And I'm too hungry to go around digging for another meal." Quandry stalked across the room, and seized one of Steelbeak's quaking eggmen.  
"Uno momento, compadre!" Steelbeak said, somewhat calmer. "You may find this interesting: headquarters just called for yeh."  
"What about?" Steelbeak hit speed dial and threw him the cell phone. Quandry caught it in his spare hand. He took the call.

_Six past ten..._

"Well, I bet he's still hungry." Launchpad answered after thinking for a few moments on Darkwing's query.  
"Right." Darkwing switched off the engine and let the rat-catcher coast to a stop. "Easy pickings; he's gone straight back to his F.O.W.L. buddies." Darkwing replaced the helmet with his currently yellow hat.

They climbed the side of the building and peered into the window.

"These are high windows. You'd better use this to climb down, LP." Darkwing handed him a grapple and rope, then he tossed in a smoke canister for distraction. "I am the terror that flaps in the night."

It felt novel to do this the old fashioned way, and not turn into shadow or translocate down, but he didn't want to lose the yellow and red dye in his costume yet. "I am the nightmare that you just can't wake up from." He called out into the room, before jumping down the long two story drop.

Darkwing fired his gas gun at Quandry, making him drop his hold of the eggman, the cell phone clattered to the ground. "I am Darkwing Duck." Quandry coughed, his eyes tearing as he glowered at Darkwing.

"I'll get you for this." Quandry disappeared into a black vapour.

"How'd you jump down without hurting yourself?" Darkwing ignored the nearby eggman's question.  
"Man! That is a killer outfit." Steelbeak chortled at Darkwing's costume. "Really suits you, glad to see you're playing into your strengths as a clown."  
"Well, I do like to be memorable." Darkwing sped across the room and pinned the eggman that Quandry had been gripping. "Ooh, you're lucky." He said, unable to find any bite marks on the henchman's neck.

"Get him, boys." Darkwing glared at the eggmen, fixing his mind on theirs.  
'Stop.' He flung out the command along the delta waves at them as loud as he could. They all froze to the spot. "What can I say when sheep are so easily led? Welcome to the twilight zone, Steelbeak, and you are all on your own."

Launchpad jumped Steelbeak, armed with a pair of handcuffs. "Er, DW, when Quandry said 'I'll get you for this' ... did you get any idea of when that would happen?"  
"Good question, LP. I stopped two of his meals from happening tonight. That means he will probably be after me as soon as I set foot outside this room."

"Or sooner!" Quandry shoved at him from behind, and Darkwing thought fast. He turned into a bat, and shot up to the window. Quandry followed without a moment of hesitation.

Carnival.

Darkwing swooped around the animal cages and between the bars as the beasts slept, before flying back up into the sky, and then he doubled back to the horror ride.

Quackerjack was insistent on defeating the uncertainty in Megavolt. "Don't be silly, Darkwing Duck will never look for us in here."  
"Yeah, it's too cheap and tacky." He added for Mr. Banana Brain's benefit.  
"Hey, it is not tacky!" Quackerjack argued.  
Megavolt looked at his psychologically split partner in crime. "You two are enough to give anybody a headache." He complained.

Darkwing Duck's voice interrupted from aside, "What are you two doing in here?" Quackerjack jumped into Megavolt's arms in a fright. "Oh, never mind." Darkwing Duck reached for the lever near them to turn on the ride.  
"What are you doing?"  
"I'm going to show Quandry what a real vampire is capable of."  
"With a mediocre carnival ride that wouldn't scare a twelve year old?"  
"Exactly. Turn a ride like this into something truly terrifying." Darkwing rubbed his hands together. "It's show time." He said in a rarely used bloodthirsty tone of voice. Then he vanished.

"Wouldn't find us, eh?" Megavolt dumped Quackerjack on the floor, unimpressed.  
"Coincidence. He had the same idea as us." Quackerjack replied defensively. The whole place began to wreck and shudder. The corny music began to warp and warble.  
"Is it supposed to do that?" Megavolt raced to the switchboard and checked the circuits.  
"No-oo!" Quackerjack squawked in surprise. Doors sprang tightly shut around them. In the distance more doors slammed. "How'd he do that?"  
"What am I, his patent holder?" Megavolt sneered in irritation.

"The tape spools in the program for the ride aren't supposed to ..."  
"I am the terror that flaps in the night." Darkwing laughed maniacally, voicing over the mechanical warble that didn't let up. "You can't get me that way." He laughed again, calling out in a sing-song voice. "I'm waiting for you; you'll find me soon eno-ugh." One of the doors to the room they were in banged, making Quackerjack and Megavolt jump. It banged again, and then it was ripped open with a scream of metal. The intruder blinked, rubbing his eyes.  
"Alright, dinner." He took a step towards them, his eyes fixed on Quackerjack.

"Tsk, such a short attention span, Quandry?" Quandry blinked, spinning around at Darkwing's voice behind him.  
"I thought ..." He looked at Quackerjack again, then back to Darkwing. "Whatever happened to your jester's outfit? All that yellow and red? You know, it was buzzing in my head, it was so bright."  
"It wore out on the way here."

"Are you a vampire too?"  
"Wow, brains trust." Darkwing stepped in front of him. "You're so quick, I'd back the snail."  
"Yeah, anyway, I'll finish you off first." Quandry swung out at Darkwing, and found empty space.  
"Too fast, too furious."  
"Well, how about ..." Darkwing grabbed his fist and swung Quandry across the room. Quandry struggled back up to a stand.  
"How can you ... you've been dodging me all night ... aren't you hungry?"

"Oh, much worse." Darkwing glowered at him. Quandry took a running charge at Darkwing, who vanished only to reappear directly behind him. Dizzy, Quandry spun about and latched onto Megavolt, the nearest stationary person available.  
"Gah!" Megavolt felt the other's breath on his neck, when all at once the grip failed, and Megavolt dropped to the floor.  
"Megs!" Quackerjack squawked in concern.

"Oh, that was just too stupid." Darkwing pulled away, and Megavolt saw what he was holding amidst the settling dust cloud.  
"A stake?"  
"Absolutely." Darkwing pulled out a small brush and swept the dust off Megavolt. He scooped it up into a Quackerware canister. Megavolt coughed. Then he sneezed.

"You didn't even have a chance to incinerate him, Megs." Quackerjack commented.

Megavolt couldn't tear his eyes away from Darkwing's Quackerware. His mind flittered; between the hot breath on his neck, back to Darkwing Duck. The vaguest connection was growing more certain.

Darkwing glanced at Quackerjack and Megavolt. "Oh, by the way. What you guys are planning, you know, with the giant rubber band, the nutty putty, the super electronics equipment and rocket powered slinky? I'm impressed. But just don't do it. It won't work and I'll have to come back, and you'll go to prison again, so let's just skip this whole thing, alright?" They shrugged, unnerved.

Quackerjack pointed at Darkwing. "You killed him. You're the good guy. You're not supposed to do that."  
"Make some sense, Quackerjack. If I simply captured him, he'd just hypnotise the first guard he saw to let him out of the cage. Or he'd just swoosh, turn into a bat and fly out through the bars, or during mealtime, he'd demolish half of the inmate population in a week ... And besides." Darkwing turned away from them. "There's no such thing as vampires."  
"Not according to what I saw."  
"Shut up, Quackers." Megavolt warned.

"I'll see you guys later ... perhaps. It's up to you." Darkwing vanished into thin air.  
"Let's try something else, what say?" Quackerjack said, successfully discouraged.  
"Yeah," Megavolt said in agreement. "It's kinda hard to upstage a ... vampire." He voiced the conclusion to his analysis of Darkwing Duck.  
"That's for sure." Quackerjack added for Mr. Banana Brain.

Darkwing reappeared in the middle of mayhem, with people running about, evacuating the room. Launchpad was trapped, desperately defending himself using a chair against a vampire. Darkwing jumped across the chaos and threw the attacker away.

Launchpad's eyes fixed on him, like the only thing in this room that made sense. "Thanks, DW." He panted. "That was close."  
"It's my fault, LP." Darkwing said faintly, gazing back at him. The vampire growled from behind. Darkwing spun around. "You just made a mistake," he railed at the vampire, "John." John blanched.

"The boss told me to get him." John shook his head. "Sorry?" He scratched his head. "Er, why am I ..."  
"Does the words 'protection sphere' ring a bell?" Darkwing cast his eyes around the room. Steelbeak had escaped yet again.  
"I'm a F.O.W.L. agent!" John exploded, personally inflamed. "I don't care about protection spheres! I'm gonna bring you down, Darkwing Duck. And this time, you won't flap your way out of my grip like you did with Quandry." John turned to vapour, and drifted away.

"Now that was an impressive threat. Very nicely done." Darkwing folded his arms in appreciation. Then he turned, "Come on, Launchpad, we've got Quandry, and we have to do something before you can get it to Hooter."

_Half an hour later in Director J Gander Hooter's office at S.H.U.S.H. headquarters..._

Launchpad handed a small glad lock bag to Hooter across his table. "Quandry won't harm any more people. And you can tell the victim's families that he's been stopped."  
"This was all that was left of him?"  
"No, we scattered the rest. There's not enough in there, not for him to come back."

"I ... imagined Darkwing Duck would be the one reporting in."  
"Uh, Darkwing ... He's still on the case. Steelbeak and the remaining F.O.W.L. vampires have escaped and DW's not about to let this one go."

Hooter hesitated, looking down at the small offering on the table. "I fear it'll be hard to prosecute a bag of dust."  
"I'm not sure a sane judge would want to hear the word 'vampire' in all honesty, chief. No matter the size of the bag of dust."  
"No, that's true."

Hooter sighed, and gazed to his left for a moment in deep consideration of the situation. Launchpad turned to see what the director was looking at and saw himself in a full length mirror.  
"Gee, that sure is a nice mirror you got there, sir."  
"Er, yes, I er ..." Launchpad grinned at his reflected image, puffing up his chest, looking good! "Could you perhaps tell us ... er, how Darkwing was able to defeat Quandry?"  
"Oh, that's easy. With Darkwing it's always psychological strength and mental agility that beats out." Launchpad turned back to Hooter. "Anyway, I'd better be going."  
"Er, yes, thank you."

Launchpad was just turning for the door, when Hooter stopped him. "Wait." Launchpad turned back to Hooter. The director of S.H.U.S.H. was standing up urgently behind the table, his palms on the desk. "Please inform Darkwing immediately, that the next time he catches one of these vampires, we need the man alive so we can question him." Considering Hooter never gave much emotion out in anything he said, the tension in his voice told the air ace that he was very serious.

Launchpad went white on considering this, recalling his close call, defending himself with a flimsy chair. "I can't make any promises, chief."  
"He can't go around killing people, regardless of how unusual their appetites are. We are not living in the dark ages. We are modern civilised upholders of law and justice."

"I agree, sir. But they're slippery devils. The one that jumped me last night looked no different from any of the other eggmen. I was lucky to have found the chair in time." He shook his head. "I was lucky DW came back in time to stop him."

He paused for a long time, looking at his reflection. "I'm lucky to be alive."

_Moral/Overview: Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Of course, DW knows that one very well!_


	3. Death By Velcro

_A/N: Once again, I do not profess to having any shred of authorial expertise._

_A/N: Last chapter was posted approximately four days ago._

* * *

**Chapter 16: Death By Velcro**

Megavolt was minding his own business as he normally did. But this time, he was far away from civilisation, far away from Darkwing Destruct-o Duck, testing his ultimate computer by having it operate the zeppelin controls. He had programmed a gradual learning curve and it was all going slow, but very well so far.

"Watch the cliff, baby." He cooed, patting the machine, double checking the interface cables for good measure. The computer adjusted course, taking it to the right and up. Megavolt whooped in joy. "It works!" The zeppelin cleared the cliff, and rose up over the top. Megavolt rushed to the window, taking in the splendid view that his lovely machine was showing him. Something dark and shiny on the horizon caught his attention. He picked up his binoculars.

"Hmm, it looks like we're not alone out here, Ulti." He shrugged and put the binoculars down. "Never mind, they're far enough away." He turned back to the computer, "We'll just keep our distance." A heavy thump sounded above his head. He dove for cover.

"Holy Newton! What was that?" He looked up at the roof and then something tapped on the window. He turned his head and shrieked, falling back in shock.

* * *

Darkwing Duck reviewed the F.O.W.L. installation. It was like a huge black spaceship amidst the vast red mountainous terrain of what could easily have been an alien planet.

In bat form, he flew up the cliff face behind him, and returning to duck shape, perched on the vertical rocks just up above the cavern. He readied his gas gun, Velcro rope at the ready. He didn't have a stake. S.H.U.S.H. wanted this one alive. Talk about being difficult. He threw in a gas grenade, and followed, turning to vapour.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night." He echoed throughout the cavern. "I am the scourge that pecks at your nightmares."  
"Get back! Or I'll drain this yellow rat so dry you'll be able to wrap him up and sell his carcass to a museum."  
"Ooh, you're a touchy one today, John." Darkwing faced the F.O.W.L. vampire. "Alright, I'm not going to hurt you, just hand over the yellow rat, and we'll talk ... uh, like reasonable people."  
"Yeah, right. What about?"  
"How about a deal, John? You stay alive, I hand you in to S.H.U.S.H. who'll see about reforming you."

John snorted, "I can't believe my ears." Then he said louder, "How about this one? You find this ball of useless spark important to you. So, how about ... making a decision for yourself?" John threw Megavolt out the side of the cave. Darkwing fired the grapple out of his gas gun and tethered down the other end to a nearby outcropping just as it went taut. The rope was secure, and Megavolt had a life line from plunging to the bottom of the cliff.

"No, that's not how you're supposed to ..." John yelled in frustration.

What Darkwing didn't expect, was what John did next. Darkwing jumped him with the Velcro rope. But the vampire eggman moved and yanked Megavolt's rope away from the rocks. Darkwing attempted to correct his course but due to the lack of time to think, his accuracy was off. He went slamming into John, the Velcro rope went haywire and they toppled over the side.

* * *

"Ow." Darkwing Duck blinked back unconsciousness in a field of stars. He blinked, "No ... that would be the horizon." He looked over from his seated position. Megavolt was lying, unconscious nearby, but alive, the rope had taken him down most of the way, and the worst the rat had, to Darkwing's senses was a concussion. Darkwing himself on the other hand ... he struggled to move, the Velcro rope was wound up in an impossible twist around him and John, tying them both together.

They were tied up, outside … in the middle of the desert.  
"I don't suppose you have the time on you?" John asked him on an even conversational tone. Darkwing looked up into the sky. It was growing pink.  
"Uh, nearly sunrise." Darkwing stretched against the Velcro. It was tight.

"What a nutball situation. I can't even shift to get away from this Velcro. I thought being a vampire I'd just have trouble with silver and garlic. I never expected Velcro to kill me." Kill? Darkwing gulped. He tried his buzz-saw cufflinks, but the tiny blades snapped against the ultra-might of the synthetic durability of the Velcro rope. So much for bringing the vampire into S.H.U.S.H. headquarters alive! He reviewed the situation. He had only one shot left, and it was a far flung one.

"Megavolt?" He repeated the call mentally. 'Megavolt, wake up.' Megavolt stirred.

"Ungh." Megavolt dragged himself into consciousness and gazed, without much comprehension, at Darkwing Duck and the F.O.W.L. agent. John let out a hysterical laugh.  
"You expect a super villain, a criminal to help us out?" He laughed again.  
"Oh, you can laugh at our situation? That's just weird."  
"My pleasure, I'll be glad to die knowing I took you out with me."

Megavolt's mind took more form although he was still very dazed, and he reviewed the situation at hand. "What do you mean, you're going to die?" Darkwing had the distinct sensation that time was running too short.

"The sun." Darkwing explained, and then he added, "Your zeppelin is still at the top of the mountain where you parked it. You can just see the tip of it overhead." Megavolt looked up for a long moment. Then he squinted through his goggles at Darkwing.  
"Can't you call for backup or something?"  
"I already tried that. I guess my mental range isn't far enough." Megavolt put his hand to his head. Man, looking up was a stupid thing to do. If he had eaten anything in the last five hours, he might have thrown up.

Darkwing considered the F.O.W.L. installation, only a kilometre away. "But you can still call for backup, John."  
"No way. I wanna see you die, Darkwing."  
"You're sitting behind me, need I remind you. You're not going to see anything."  
"Satisfaction." Darkwing rolled his eyes. John shivered, making Darkwing shake. "It's coming, I can really feel it." Darkwing watched the sky getting brighter. The sun was battling the horizon. Darkwing closed his eyes. This would make two for two. Why were vampires so easy to kill?

"So, uh, how'd you get to be a vampire, John?"  
"Quandry. They lucked out with the poison."  
"They did, huh? How did they get it to work?"  
"I thought you should know."  
"No. If you do it in small doses they die."  
"That's right. So they did a total blood transfusion on him."  
"Ack!" Darkwing choked. "That is ... what did they replace the blood from the donor with?"  
"I wasn't there but ..." John was silent. "So that's what happened that night."  
"Ah-huh, Let me guess: you couldn't find the vampire you had imprisoned, and only Quandry walked out of that room alive?"  
"Yep."  
"The buffoons." Darkwing had practically been there in that situation himself with that fool Ducker. "You drain the energy from us, what do you get? You don't get a dead vampire. You get a room full of corpses."

Megavolt's gloved hands grasped at the Velcro, pulling at the ends. He'd unwound two rounds, before he came upon a knot in the ropes. He battled with it with failing urgency.  
"I thought you were a bad guy like me." John complained. "Why are you trying to set Darkwing Duck free?"  
"I can't get back up to my Zeppelin without help."  
"I wouldn't help you. I'd prefer to know that your bones were bleaching in the sun." John gasped. Then he let out a shriek, as the sun shot across over the horizon and hit him and Darkwing full on.

The Velcro rope went slack around Darkwing, and he grappled out of it. He pulled out the mini dustpan and swept John's remains into a Quackerware canister. Well, he was fully contained, anyway.

Darkwing reasoned to himself. He'd give the whole lot of John's dust to Bellum, and they could decide if it was worth revivicating him.

* * *

_Moral/Overview: The people most at risk in the game of war are usually the civilian bystanders._


	4. Zeppelin Safety

_A/N: The previous chapter was posted 20-30 hours before this one._

_A/N: For those of you who came in dreadfully, terribly, shockingly, appallingly late: _

_**Fun **is writing the stuff, _  
_**Fun **is reading the stuff, and _  
_**Fun **is reliving the brilliant characters imagined up by those responsible ultra-evil geniuses working at _Disney _so many years ago. _

_So, on the subject of Darkwing Duck, vampires and life in general, I give you ..._

* * *

**Chapter 17: Zeppelin Safety**

"You're not dust." Megavolt swayed on the spot, Darkwing Duck was at his side.

"And you've got concussion. You need to rest. "I'm sorry that I woke you up at all." Darkwing translocated with Megavolt back to his zeppelin and sat him in the central chair. "Megs, don't you sleep?"

Darkwing went for a wander to the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge and put the Quackerware canister in there. F.O.W.L. would never think to look in there for it. He shook off an eerie feeling as he explored the zeppelin. Megavolt's sleeping bundle was in a closed room. He moved Megavolt into there, leaving the door open, and then went back up to the bridge to consider the situation.

* * *

His thoughts were interrupted when Megavolt's heart rate jumped. They weren't alone. He sent out a sonic stream. One other. Darkwing couldn't pick up any heartbeats from the intruder, and he couldn't pick up any delta waves. Who the heck was this guy?

Darkwing was at the doorway in a second. "Freeze!" He aimed his gas gun at the intruder. The person had his hand around Megavolt's mouth, keeping him from screaming. "Ducker? Let him go, he's injured, he needs to rest."  
"I was just checking. I was about to let him go. I was told there was an installation out there overrun with F.O.W.L. vampires." Darkwing double took the situation.

"No way. You're my backup?" Darkwing's stomach clenched. Sometimes he really hated Eider. He backed out of the doorway and Ducker moved out into the corridor behind him. As it was, Darkwing still couldn't pick up Ducker's delta waves.

"I'm the expert when it comes to vampires. Over there you're going to need my help."  
"I wasn't disputing that." It was the teensy problem that Ducker would at some point double cross Darkwing. He'd expected Darkwing to have attacked Megavolt. "But I'm sure that you'd appreciate that a vampire would also have some expertise in vampires." Ducker was the kind of man, like Darkwing himself who was independent, stubborn and self-reliant; Ducker wasn't the sort to take orders any more than Darkwing.  
"Perhaps we could ... be a ...?"  
"Collected force against them?" Darkwing shrugged, knowing that by the end of the night, he'd then have to face off against Ducker.

"That's an interesting equipment setup you've got there, Ducker. Yep, sure makes you pretty invisible."  
"Where'd you get your clothes?"  
"What?" Darkwing looked down. "Hey, I'm purple again!"  
"Again? You used to wear that colour?"  
"I can do without the personal comments, thanks." Darkwing vacated from the tight corridor and translocated back up to the bridge. Ducker came up after him, it took a moment. He walked up to the front window and opened it.

Darkwing turned his head. "Hey, don't!" He was too late, and watched. In one swift motion, Ducker finished emptying out John's canister down to the earth below. That was it for John.  
"Now you sympathise?"  
"No-oo." Darkwing clenched his beak. "S.H.U.S.H. wanted him alive." He turned away.  
"What for?"  
"Because killing is not the answer."  
"It is for vampires." Ducker handed him a stake. "I noticed you left yours at home. You can have my spare." Darkwing grudgingly took it. "You won't stop them if you can't dust them." Somehow, Ducker reminded him of John, grimly determined to take out Darkwing even though it meant his own death.

"I'm not like you." Darkwing remarked quietly. Then he stifled a yawn.  
"You should get some sleep; I know these aren't your hours. I'll keep watch."  
"Great, thanks." He paused. "Leave Megavolt alone."  
"You really insist on protecting that criminal, don't you?"  
"You wouldn't question it if you considered it from my point of view. Besides, between you and those guys out there, he's the only one that warrants any sympathy." Darkwing shook his tired self, really, he hadn't slept for days. He turned into a bat, and circled down to the cavern below.

* * *

Megavolt got up out of bed. His stomach growled, and he stalked to the kitchen. His head pounded. He slammed the door of the fridge, an act which worsened his headache. "I can't believe I'm out of milk again!" He ferreted through the cupboards, "And I used up all the powdered milk, how am I supposed to have a coffee now?"

"You could always drink it black." Megavolt spun around on the voice, and instantly regretted it. He slid down against the fridge onto the floor. "I can see those vampires really belted you around last night."  
"Yeah, well, I'm still here." Megavolt got up. Hang coffee. He pulled out his cable and plugged himself into the nearby socket. He sighed. Much better. His headache disappeared rapidly.

"I am amazed, really. For all the trouble all those vampires have been causing you, and you just recharge yourself and keep going."  
"What's your point, wacko?" Ducker recoiled. "You're just as crazy as the rest of us, don't deny it." Megavolt pointed at him accusingly.  
Ducker was silent for a long moment. "I have a good reason for that."  
"I'm sure father confession down on 23rd street would love to hear it. Now go away and leave me in peace."

"Darkwing Duck is a vampire. You can't possibly forget the things I've shown you about him. Or what about the fact that he killed fourteen people that night?"  
"I dunno ... he'd already left by that time."  
"Sure, okay, so his vampire backup did the dirty work for him."  
"I've seen my share of death."

Ducker cleared his throat. "What about ..."  
"I don't care about vampires!" Megavolt glowed in an electrical surge; he yanked the plug out of the wall before he drained the zeppelin's engines dry of juice. "I am Megavolt!" He sparked his fingers, emphasising the threat.

"What about your nemesis? How do you feel about the vampire crusader, always messing with your plans? He's here now, he's sleeping, then he'll be back and what do you think he's going to do next?" Megavolt watched Ducker, his mind on overdrive.  
Ducker changed tack. "Do you remember what happened to you last night? Darkwing Duck threw you down a cliff ..."

Megavolt pushed past Ducker in a sudden panicked thought and raced up to the bridge. "Are you okay, Ulti?" He patted the machine's hard exterior. The computer's hum rose, attentive to his presence. "Oh, I'm alright, my angel." Darkwing Duck had not destroyed his beautiful machine.

And ... Darkwing Duck had not left him at the base of the cliff to die. Which was nothing remotely like what Ham had done to him; so many years ago back in high school. His mind continued to clock high processing speeds as he considered Darkwing Duck, life, vampires and the despicable F.O.W.L. agent that had hijacked him thirty feet above the cliff top.

"There are only a couple of hours before sunset, Megavolt. You need to make up your mind."

Megavolt's mind circled back into reality, looking and considering Ducker in the doorway. "Su-ure." He answered in a scheming voice, his eyes narrowing. His rebooted brain was working rapidly like it usually did when the game was afoot. "Let's toast some vam-pires." He grinned at Ducker, and taking his shoulder, he drew him forwards. "Tell me, what you know about ... metal rods?"

* * *

_Moral/Overview: Don't get mad, get even. Or, translated for those of us who aren't super villains, if it bugs you, fix it._


	5. FOWL Installation

_A/N: The previous chapter was uploaded about two hours ago._

_A/N: Try typing F.O.W.L. or S.H.U.S.H. whilst simultaneously having a train of thought. Then do it again. Then do it again. Now, without abandoning the keyboard, try highlighting F.O.W.L. or S.H.U.S.H. with just the ctrl+shift+arrow in an attempt to copy/paste it._

* * *

**Chapter 18: F.O.W.L. Installation**

_A distant voice echoed through the mists of gloom and the drifting, refreshing darkness._  
_'Well, if it's so out of hand, just blow it up.'_  
_'Blow it up.'... 'If it's so out of hand.'... 'Just blow it up.' ... 'Well?'_  
_'Darkwing Duck?' Gosalyn's voice echoed in the mix._  
_'Well? Just blow it up if it's so out of hand.'_

* * *

"He's in 'ere somewheres." Darkwing blinked sleepily down at the two eggmen. One of them was a vampire, the other was normal. He woke up with a jolt: he'd overslept? How appalling! Apparently, being a vampire, he still needed regular sleep.

"Yo, Darkwing Duck!" His nerves twitched, and he stretched out his wings, into the air.

"Argh!" The bat colony that Darkwing had been roosting with had exactly the same idea at the same time, and he was in the middle of a great exodus from the cave. The bats thinned out after they exited, and Darkwing was able to dive out of the thoroughfare. He circled back to the cave, and shifted back to normal form. He landed on the cave floor.

"You called, Geoffrey?  
""Ow'ed he know your name?"  
"I know plenty of things about you, Mark." Darkwing knew next to nothing, he was totally bluffing, but the information came off the delta wave as he spoke. "Your favorite colour is blue. You learnt how to read when you were 7 and a half. Your birthday was last week."  
The other eggman scratched his head.  
"You didn't know it was my birthday. Nobody knew it was my birthday."  
"I, er ..." Mark punched the vampire eggman in the beak. "Oi, you ..." Geoffrey growled, and grabbed Mark. Darkwing swung around and landed the stake.  
"Happy birthday, Mark." Darkwing frowned as the vampire disintegrated between them. "Why don't you find yourself a decent, honest job with good people that do care?"

* * *

Darkwing flew in through the open zeppelin window and returned to being a duck.

"You're late."  
He blushed. "I had guests." He looked at Megavolt and then at Ducker. "Look, I'm only saying this once. If we blow them up, there'll be no one left to prosecute."  
"Who said anything about blowing them up?" Megavolt asked honestly.  
"But if we wait long enough, they'll all be vampires and there'll be no one left that a case would hold up in court. I mean it; they can double every night, or even more."  
"I never said we should wait that long. I just finished saying I had a couple of guests, that's all." Darkwing growled. This reminded him terribly of one of his circular conversations with Aunt Nasty.

"Do they know we're here?"  
"Probably. They certainly know I'm here." The others looked at him. "Because I called for backup! But if we get going, Ducker, that won't be a problem."  
"Well, I'm coming too. Nobody throws me down a cliff. I'm recharged and ready to fry. They won't stand a chance."  
"Are you sure?" Darkwing hesitated, if it had been a normal person like Quackerjack, Darkwing would have bound and gagged Megavolt to make sure he stayed and rested off the concussion. But this was Megavolt, and he was no ordinary rat. And judging by the intensity of his delta waves, he might just be right.  
"I've filled him in." Ducker announced his conspiratorial activities. "We should approach them from the south ..."  
"I've got a better idea. The cargo hold is currently unoccupied." Darkwing stepped between them and concentrated hard. He picked up the edges of his cape and drew it around them.

* * *

They reappeared in darkness.

"Three eggmen behind door number one, five beyond door number two. And above us we have security cameras. But they haven't upgraded to infrared so that's not a problem for us in this particular room."

"No, finding the door will be the problem."

"What?"  
Megavolt heaved a sigh. "If you didn't realise, we can't see, Darkwing."  
"What do you want, a running commentary? Fine. Door number one: Take nine normal steps this way." He aimed Megavolt at the door.  
"I'm fine." Ducker brushed him away before he could direct him. "This equipment does have tactile transponders built in that help me see in the dark."

Megavolt reached the door with a thump. "Which ones are vampires?"  
"The vampires are the ones that have hungry gleams in their eyes." Ducker announced.  
"What use is that when they're all wearing those helmets?" Darkwing was exasperated as he paced towards the other door. "I thought you said you briefed him? Megavolt, vampires don't move quite like normals. They move like predators. They're vampires if they're catlike, stalking, and delicate on their feet."  
"Either that or they're ballerinas." Ducker argued.

"Got it." Megavolt grated open the door as Darkwing realised 'Got it' meant Megavolt had reached his own resolution to the question. That probably meant in all likelihood that if anyone stood up to Megavolt's zap, he'd stake them. Oh well, that also worked, Megavolt never went anywhere without his recharge equipment.

Ducker was at his side.  
"Are you going this way, Ducker?"  
"Five on two is more reasonable, don't you think?"  
Darkwing clenched his beak. "Five on one didn't stand a chance." Darkwing swung open the door.

* * *

An explosion, "And that would be Megavolt?" Darkwing had managed to split away from Ducker, and now he was in the control centre. Steelbeak was not here? He back-pedaled his thoughts. Just because it was central control, didn't automatically mean Steelbeak would stay there. Or ... Darkwing pressed the intercom button that was flashing. The video screen flicked on.

"Hiyah, Darkaroonie." Hooboy. Darkwing didn't wait to hear the rest of the message once Steelbeak finished laughing, because he already picked the plot twist.

* * *

He crashed into Ducker. "This place is wired to blow in half a minute!" He grabbed Ducker and translocated to Megavolt's location.

Megavolt, in his zeal for the situation, was actually standing in front of the bomb with the wiring in his fingers. Maybe the effects of the concussion hadn't entirely vanished as yet ... "You've defused bombs before, Darkwing, which wire ..."

"Hey, you're the ones who wanted to blow the whole lot to rubble! Let's make like Rutherford and split!" Darkwing pulled Megavolt from the bomb and set him down next to Ducker. He concentrated and grabbed the edges of his cape.

* * *

"I never said that! Stop putting words in my ... whoa." Megavolt blinked giddily back in the zeppelin. Darkwing turned around from Megavolt and Ducker to watch Steelbeak's ship destruct.

"I get so many signals. Sometimes, I just have to guess." He pointed at Megavolt. "This evening I heard someone telling someone to blow up the installation. I thought it was one of you."  
"I never said that." Megavolt looked out the window, "although, it was a pretty good idea after all. I wonder why I didn't think of it at the time."  
"I need some fresh air." Darkwing sighed with a stress related headache. "I suppose you need to be somewhere else, Ducker?"  
"No, I'm free."

"Let me rephrase that. I'm taking you back to Eider."

* * *

_Moral/Overview: Sometimes you're the driver, sometimes you're the passenger. So long as you're not the guy locked in the trunk, you should be alright._


	6. Obsessive Compulsive By Nature

_A/N: Last chapter was uploaded about three days or so ago._

_There are three separate skits on this page as Darkwing Duck cleans up the last of the mess created in Dark Duck II._

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 19: Obsessive Compulsive By Nature**

_Two hours later..._

Darkwing followed the road back out of St Canard, flying headlong back into the countryside on a hunch that it would take him to his quarry.

He hovered, circling; the terrain below was more hospitable than the desert beyond. Long brushes and gnarly old trees grew up between the road and the farmland beyond. And he was picking up a delta wave signal from his target.

A truck was driving down the highway and slowed to a stop as Darkwing circled down behind a tree, returning to duck shape.

He listened to the massive machine came closer, the gears shift down, the engine stop. The vampire eggman had flagged the truckie.

Darkwing snickered as he circled in. 'This is one meal you won't be getting, Gary.' "I am the terror that ..." Darkwing blinked. "Duane?"

Duane the weasel, standing there in his old straw hat. He had his fists tight around Gary's garish red, yellow and white uniform. "Darkwing Duck? What'd'ya know! Heck city boy, I didn'a recognize yeh." Duane reviewed Gary the eggman. "I suppose this one's bein' yours then."

Darkwing pulled out the stake in his breast pocket. "Well ... I guess ... you caught him. It was luck, but you did catch him." Darkwing admitted, even though he felt gypped of the victory, he had to give the winnings to Duane for collaring the vampire.

"It sure war' luck, I warrant even luken' for a vampare tonigh'. I'm on another governmen' job, keeps me plenny occupied enuff not to go aroun' chasin' shadows."

Darkwing looked from Gary back to Duane. Duane had Gary in a hypnotic trance, and the vampire eggman was going nowhere, thanks only to Duane. "But you are a vampare, Duane." And he had some pretty impressive mental skill to lock another vampire's mind down.

"Sure, an' a might 'ungry 'un too." Duane looked at Darkwing with a twinkle in his sharp eyes. "How abou' we shares 'im?"

Darkwing gulped, that seemed a little ... Duane pulled the eggman close and greedily chomped into him. After a moment he let go and flung the vampire at Darkwing, who caught him in his arms.

Darkwing was bewildered. "Who taugh' yeh to be a vampare?" Duane shook his head in disbelief. "No poin' lettin' good blood go to waste." Duane picked up the stake Darkwing had dropped, waiting for his city counterpart with patience.

Darkwing's stomach lurched, punctuating Duane's argument. "Good point." The eggman was still deep under Duane's hypnosis as Darkwing pulled him closer. There wasn't even a shudder as he closed his beak over the criminal's neck.

Blood! Thank you. The instant he pulled away, Duane swung his fist forwards, the stake hit home, and the eggman was a settling dust cloud between them. "Dust!" Darkwing yanked out the Quackerware container he'd been trying to fill for so long and his dusting brush. Before the wind could pick up the dust and scatter it, he had Gary's remains in the jug. "Yes! Finally, now I have something to give S.H.U.S.H.!"

"Oh, I geh' it, you' on a governmen' job like me." Duane chuckled. "For a momen' there, I though' you was mad." He handed Darkwing back the stake. "Waell, you did alrigh' for your firs' 'un." Duane circled around his truck and opened out the passenger side door. "Well, geh' in, city boy. I'll drop you off at the next servo."

"Thanks!" Darkwing climbed in, eager with this new chance to pick Duane's brain.

* * *

_An hour later..._

Megavolt felt a whole lot better, and he considered the last couple of days that were rather surreal. As his mind went over everything that had happened: vampires, slayers and all, he recalled something unrelated to these things. For a brief moment, Darkwing Duck had seemed almost ... normal in the sunlight.

Megavolt parked his Zeppelin, and went into the service station. It was the middle of the night, in the middle of the desert. He looked at a lone eggman, who was sitting at one of the many round tables with red and white checkered tablecloths staring glumly into space.

"I can't believe Darkwing Duck blew up my entire workplace." The eggman looked up. "Hey, you're that ... electro dude!"

"What makes you think that? I just came in here for coffee to go." The eggman jumped on the table.

"Hey, hey!" The bartender was around the bench in a second. "Geroff me dinin' ta'le, yah low'rer scruff neck."  
"Good idea, I am kinda hungry." The eggman bent over and the fox was flailing in the air.

Megavolt twitched. He wasn't sure what to do, being a bad guy, he ought not to interfere. On the other hand, he was really beginning to loathe these vampire eggmen. He sparked his fingers, and threw the bolt at the vampire.  
"Ack!" Darkwing Duck was suddenly there in between them, he collapsed to the floor. "I am ..." He swaggered to a stand. "Just ... drop him, Howard."

"Now, where's all that enthusiasm gone? Oh, I wonder. Hee hee." Howard the hulking duck on the table giggled girlishly. "Poor lil' Darkling."  
"You're under arrest." Megavolt was nervous; for the first time in his life, it sounded like Darkwing didn't have his heart in it.

"Nah, why don't you have a little duck nap?" Howard, still on the table, kicked Darkwing, sending him crashing to the other side of the room. Howard turned to the bartender still in his grip. "Now, where was we?"

"Right aboot 'ere." The fox seized Howard back, and sank his teeth into Howard's neck. The eggman hollered, and then turned to dust. The bartender pocketed the stake in his apron. Darkwing stood back up, undamaged.

"I 'ate 'ooligan low'rers. Luke at dah mess 'e's made 'ere an' all." The fox tsked, and then with the frighteningly nervous efficiency of an obsessive-compulsive person, he raced about the place. He swept up Howard's dust and brushed it into the trash can, whipped away the table cloth and replaced it with a fresh one. He straightened the tables that Darkwing had set askew when he'd been kicked across the room.

In a final spray and wipe of citrus cleanser, the whole restaurant was sparkling clean again. Megavolt wondered what else the little guy did on his lonely nights at this restaurant. No forensic team of investigators would ever find a trace. Impressive, Megavolt thought.

When Monty Fox went so far as to straighten Darkwing's cape, Darkwing stopped him and pushed him back.

"So, I was in a room with three vampires?" Megavolt analysed. "Did you know that?" He asked Darkwing.  
"I didn't expect you to zap him." Darkwing shrugged at Megavolt. "That's what made me appear. I didn't mean to interfere. I knew you had him under control, Monty."  
"I war fine till tha' darn scruff neck gone an' pute his filthy boots on my dinin' ta'le."

The fox squinted at Megavolt. "Ey, you war warnen coffee, warrant yeh?" The fox darted around, and handed Megavolt a fresh cup off the percolator. Darkwing handed him some change.

Megavolt contemplated the Darkwing mystery. "How'd you know he was here? Oh," Megavolt squinted at him, "you're following me."

"No, it's because I opened my big beak back on Steelbeak's ship about the bomb. And we missed a couple of them, and they heard me. That was the second one." Darkwing showed him a Quackerware canister. "Portable, lightweight, easy to manage: villain in a modern day burial urn." Darkwing snickered. " '... Keeps it fresh all year round, summer winter, spring or autumn, press the button on the bottom.' "  
"Oo, the Liquidator would approve of that sales pitch."

"That schule be emteed owt." Darkwing turned to Monty.  
"S.H.U.S.H. wants one."  
"S.H.U.S.H. is an idiot, if'n 'e wants a vampare, tell him to gerun imsel. S'e only way e'd realise his mistake." On that note, Monty Fox snatched the canister from Darkwing's fingers. He pressed the button on the bottom and emptied the contents into the trash can. Then he went out back and came back presently. "Now's all clean again."

"Uh, thanks." Darkwing numbly reached out his fingers for the container. Of course. Monty was entirely correct.  
"You warn, I fill i' with coffee?"  
Darkwing glanced at Megavolt who was content with his cup. "No thanks, I don't drink that stuff. And he's set." Fox shrugged.

"Any more'n nasti-uns aroun?"  
"Not that I know of. They may be hiding in Quack Quong, of course, you never know about long jumpers, and that's where Steelbeak's gone."  
"Have you spoken to Duane, yet?"  
"Yes, I have spoken to Duane." Darkwing crossed his arms a trifle annoyed. "And now you. I've already doubled back to St Canard; so between the three of us we've got no Lowers." Monty Fox nodded, reassured.

Megavolt looked from one vampire to the other, watching the exchange. He'd been disintegrating vampires just a few hours back. He had not disintegrated Darkwing Duck using the same method. And who was this Duane?

Fox presently yawned. "Mornin' shift, you 'ave a good'un." The bell on the door jingled as two workers came in, one sporting a chef's outfit, the other a waiter.  
"Yeah, you too. Thanks for the help, citizen."  
"Twernt nuffin. Aneeol time. An' say hi to Duane for me nex' time you see 'im."  
"Will do." As Monty went out the back, Darkwing twisted on his back foot and headed out the restaurant door. Megavolt followed him, curious.

Darkwing was muttering to himself. "If that's a twelve hour differential, that means it'll have been daylight there, but subtract three hours and add one Steelbeak, gives ... yep, I should go have a look around ..."  
"Aren't you going to sleep?"  
"Let's think about this. At least one evil eggman fiend that also happen to be blood crazed is out there somewhere in Quack Quong city, looking for evening shoppers and party goers to quench his hunger." Darkwing looked at Megavolt. "It's a horrible mess, and I'll sleep when it's clean again. Zap me however many times you like. Ask me again. My answer won't change. People are dying. It's my job to stop the cause."

"I'm not sure whether that's just commitment or whether you should be committed." Darkwing laughed. "You, me, Duane and Monty makes four. Thanks for the help, Megavolt." The crime fighter turned into a bat and flew off.  
"It'll take you too long to get there like that, Darkwing!" Megavolt advised him, and then turned to his Zeppelin. "No! Wait a minute!" He spun around, "Milk!"

_

* * *

_

Thirteen hours later in Quack Quong an hour after sunrise...

Steelbeak sighed, reviewing the image of his molten ship. He never realised vampires could ... multiply so fast. There just weren't so many around when he looked for them. Well, Quack Quong sunshine should shake these blues.

"Lets go out and enjoy the local breakfast cuisine, gentlemen."

"Not yet, sir." He turned around. "I've got old fashioned chicken soup dinner on the menu." Steelbeak backed off and raced to his computer panel. He opened up the skylight, but the vampire eggman dodged the light beam and kept safely in the shadows. "Seeing you like this, I've got you figured, Steelbeak."

"Eggmen, stop him."  
"I don't wanna get bitten."  
"Me neither."  
"Yeah, we saw what happened to those guys."

A dark, familiar voice interrupted the debate. "A sun beam. Great idea." They all looked around at the otherwise empty room. "I am the terror that flaps in the night."  
"It's not night over here."  
"Yeah, go take a nap, Dorkwing." One eggman said.  
"But they say Quack Quong city never sleeps?" The other one interrupted.  
"You got outta my little surprise Darkwing. That's a pity." Steelbeak said, wishing that he'd succeeded in catching out Darkwing Duck in his doomed ship.

"Ahem?" The vampire eggman interrupted them all, tapping his foot for attention, obviously feeling very undercut. Steelbeak looked back at the vampire eggman, who took another step towards him.

Darkwing continued his entrance lines, as if they hadn't interrupted him. "I am the rubber band that snaps back at you."  
The vampire eggman looked up at the ceiling "We know: you're Darkwing Duck!" The eggman snarled.  
"And you're history." Darkwing appeared out of the shadows, web-kicking the vampire eggman in the stomach. The criminal vampire stumbled back into the light beam and disintegrated.

Steelbeak gaped. "Gosh you saved me ... maybe I had you wrong, after all, Darkwing ..."

"You've willfully killed hundreds of your own men."  
"That was damage control. But that's in the past."  
"Okay, let's think about the future." Darkwing paused for a moment. He took a step towards Steelbeak. "I've thought about it." He slammed his fist down on the skylight switch, closing the shutters and drew his cloak up around his face as the room filled with an eerie contrasting electrical light. He snarled, flicking back his cape. "I'm still going to eat you!"

Steelbeak fainted clean away. Darkwing burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Oh, but that was priceless. Eventually he settled himself. He turned to view the two shaking eggmen.

"Does prison sound good to you guys?" The two remaining eggmen nodded fiercely, babbling words of agreement.

_

* * *

_

And so, an unsuspecting Quack Quong enjoyed yet another safe and uneventful day. This was thanks to someone they never even knew existed, who turned over an international crime gang to the local police.

_On this day, a stray American named Drake Mallard took some time out and went shopping in the oriental economical hub._


	7. Epilogue

_A/N: Last chapter posted same time, same place._

* * *

**DARK DUCK II: EPILOGUE **

_Dawn at the Mallard residence..._

Drake Mallard paced the carpet of his lounge room, his body was tired but his nerves still hadn't let him to rest, so he waited for his daughter to wake up.

"Good morning sweetheart." She looked at him from the stairs in disbelief.  
"Good Morning? Do you even know what day it is? Try 'good week'."  
"I told you, honey. I had a lot of work on. But I'm here now."  
"Oh, I understand!" There was still some hefty amount of indignance in her voice.

"So there's no more vampire eggmen?"  
"No."  
"Is Hooter still mad at you?" Her voice was crisp and the words unselfish, but her mind was sullen.  
"I think once he hears about how Steelbeak had to blow up his own ship and that it's safe to say they won't be experimenting with vampires anymore, he'll be a bit more reasonable."  
"Good."

She picked up her cap from the hallstand, pushing it down over her pigtails. "I'm going out."  
He blinked. "Gos, I've been all the way to Quack Quong." She stopped at the door, crossing her arms. She turned around.

"You know, big city, lots of cutting edge technology being designed there?" He pulled out a small box from his pocket. "Think of it as an early Christmas present." She took it, instantly excited. "It's not a bomb. But it does beep." She took out the little black unit. "You can turn the sound off, which makes it a much safer ..."

"A tracking receiver?"  
"Well, I'm ... moving around all over the place all the time. This way, at least you'll be able to find me if you need me of a sudden." A smile formed on her face. "You'll know, if I'm on the street, or just at Hamil Corp, or if I'm ..."

She grabbed him into a fierce hug. "Oh, dad. You're the best."

_

* * *

_

Moral/Overview: Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere. A. Einstein.


End file.
